unit three five and eight
still in hot pursuit of red lamborghini
not so good we're losing
no problem
three eight twenty four roadblock has been established
three eight nine four still in hot percent
he won't get through here
what about that dirt road sarge
if he takes that he better have water wings
i can remember when my grandfather taught me how to skip stones
you know what he told me
always make sure
the stone is flat exactly
trying to get away with the climate
feel the victim of the
the way we're back in time
we got it now
and blind
trying to get away with it
waiting
my arm's getting kind of sore grandpa
but you haven't got the angle quite right
look it's more like
what's that angle you were talking about grandpa
away with it
right away with it working
啊啊
valentino
i think you're slipping my friend no
no no no
the timing is sluggish the timing the alignment is off
and the shocks need replacing shocks yeah
see
so we fix that
no no no we don't fix huh you fix
i'm gonna go inside here and uh
psych out the competition
this is jack o'neill and heather scott
and we're here at the pre race party of the world
famous cannonball run
and we're talking to one of the members of
last year's winning team
um you were saying something
about the preparations
a driver must make for this kind of race i was
yes you were
yeah i was
you were
you were telling us about some special training training
training is very important
said discipline is everything
i understand you're racing in this year's cannonball yes
i am racing in this year's cannonball
i knew that
i didn't know that
back to new central
哈哈哈哈哈
did you see that
哈哈哈哈哈no
哈哈哈哈
oh
charlie
charlie hello leo
i didn't know you were in there i swear
you can be so cool
why thank you
are you alright
oh yeah i'm fine
i'm on my mind oh he's fine he's fine
charlie and i are old friends
he loves it when i pull each stunts on him right
charlie yeah
it's my favorite thing in the whole wide world hey
charlie what do you think
tiffany's just become the new miss bmw
congratulations
thanks to a little help from you know who
so
charlie and i are old friends we went to school together
we get into the car business together
i build them he parched them
oh
lighten up mister scholar they call him
mister scholar
still going to school you're still going to school aren't you
charlie
yeah yeah trying to find themselves
i'll see you inside leo
it's nice meeting you mister crodan
i apologize for leo
i had nothing to do with this
that's okay it's
i'm used to it it's nice meeting you
tiffany
i might change my name to norma jean what do you think
i kind of like tiffany
oh
okay
hey i'll be right there honey
so charlie i see you're still quite the
ladies man
so where's all the race cars parked out back really well here
park mine will you
hard cronin yeah
you'd be careful with that car hasn't been broken in yet
all treated like it was my own leo
hey
drowning
kill him
maniac you're insane
come on
lots full i'll leave it here you know
it should put one scratch on that car
yeah
well
it's just a good thing for you that
that you didn't yeah
yeah
well i'm a professional body builder
but i'm setting acting
i just yes yes
the body is the temple of this whole drink drink
i can
this is for you
i cannot do it the night before the cannonball run
my life is smoking
it's been slow
of all your ideas this is the stupist we look like cheap hookers
oh now we do not look cheap
like expensive hook groups
besides guys like this sort of thing
margaret we have five phds between us we've made
important grade throughs an automotive technology
why can't we just go out there into an intelligent
presentation of our discoveries
why do we have
to look like bimbos
because we'll be talking to men
and first we got to get their attention
yeah and then what
then they become slobbering
pure aisle pigs
big
you're in big trouble alec
i gotta kill you
look um i know big walley and
he'd never say kill
he probably said cole
that's it he said call alec and you thought he said kill alec
is that silly
well now we have a number of products i know you're gonna
like miss gold
all right gus
but one of the things i know you're gonna love
is our fuzz buster
this just isn't any old fuzz buster gus
no it's the best fathers buster ever made
it identifies
a particular molecule unique only to police uniforms
i call it the polyester corps
it's on every cop in america
see what our machine does is it not only picks up the radar
it picks up the cops too you know their their clothes
their shoes their scars hats
now what is this thing
i don't think
i'd really be doing my job in barrara if i didn't take a long
hard look at that equipment of the years
well it's right out in the car
why don't we and i just scoot on out there and get it
you know it's so noisy in here
why don't you go and get it
and then bring it back to my room
and we'll take a look at it there
i'm in one twenty
two
one twenty two
come on lee
have a coat there
what would big wally rather have me dead or his fifty grand oh
look
this is my big shot i've got a thousand on the jaguar to win
are you betting on car races
you never learn do yella
look
how many years have i been placing bets with big wally
eight years eight eight years
okay um give me a head
two now i haven't won in eight years now
how many months are there any year
twelve
right eight times twelve
is
what is this
a quiz or something eight times twelve is nine nine
six right
from there flip over here now
the olds on the jag are one hundred to one ninety six from here
put it over here
so practice on the hundred and you end up with sounds
like dinosaur
shut the door shut the door
p p p p right
three
there are odds of one hundred
my odds are four vic
i can open that race
even if that car blows four tires in an engine
ah
the guy's a dink honey
he's all we got
i just don't want to put my future into the hands of some scuss
ball
i'm telling you the guy's a dink
but you relax and our gadgets of his car can't lose
there's no way to present a scientific breakthrough margaret
the world will get out of the rat people
del bankrolls will become millionaires
you girls bring the device
yeah one fuzz buster coming up
can you join me in the jacuzzi
that's strange
it's only happens when there's pops around
but you all got them underneath that towel
nothing
you ran about that
i am a man
with a lost full advertise
to the
cat and ball
my cat
all right gentlemen the eagle has landed
everybody
hand up and drop your keys
we're here live with spiro edsol chief
spiro edsol president of the paternal order of police chiefs
the united states of america
uh chief in conducting this raid
aren't you arresting people before they break the law
pre amptive strike
why wait till the snake fights before you blow its head on
tell your lawyer he'll be seeing judge henry
judge henry the hanging judge and when he's throw them
there'll be the appellate court
and in the state court and in the supreme court
this scum is mine for the next three years
the cannonball
is history
you don't
understand they rested on the drivers and took their cards
but they still ran the race anyway
it cost me
one thousand american dollar to get back to rumble here
i'm at the police station right now
donnato listen to my leaves we don't have a driver
bastard don't care what you say i'm coming up
you wouldn't do that
not here on brother
donatal
do not
paul newman's making a movie
where are we gonna find a driver
ball thrift is racing in atlanta
jackie stuart isn't racing anymore
what are you doing
what are you doing my nails
jack there isn't going to be a race heather
this important moment in here
history has been permanently cancelled i know
it's a real tragedy for you jack
you don't understand these people
jack they are not gonna let some dumb cops screw up their race
jack it's over we are going
home no it isn't ac unpack we are not leaving
ac pac we are leaving jack
minute alec
i ain't no race alex so i gotta kill you
i can't let you do it mick
you'll hate yourself in the morning
hey
i was just kidding
i just relax alec
i don't want to die vic i'll get the money paint somewhere
don't fight back
smack your neck real clean
help
no big not the belt
talk about this big
no not like no
come on
mick take it like a
mouth
take it like a man take ah
what are you doing
take ah give me my pants
let's go with it
let's go to the pants
for you to bite them out
this love
hey sorry
fly
it's
me alec
is that you have you bleed
that's good actually
those bloody race things driving me around the bend
really yeah well first it's on then it's often it's on again
so
alex
begin to introduce me to your friend
sorry
hi
barrington mrs hip
the rubist
the rubies
from the house of the rubus
picks my thing like live he was distracting my next size
so
you're saying they're still going to run the rate
tomorrow morning as scheduled
then the jag still running
still running is the best car we've ever entered
twelve cylinder
two hundred and sixty two horsepower
five point three liter engine
new electronics
new fuel management system
where the damn thing can go
a hundred and forty five miles an hour
and their letting us go off at a hundred to one
hey
you really think you can
win that thing well
actually
no not without a driver home office won't let me use a yank
and since alec and i are the
englishman here
you don't happen to be a professional driver deal
not since the albanian grand prix seventy four
finish second
fi
somebody beat you in albania
look it's impossible
right every team here's in the same boat
well
how am i supposed to find another driver in five hours forget it
i've tried everybody
i tried on me doesn't like me
i tried him he doesn't like me look
i don't want to get into my personal problems on the phone okay
well what do you want me to
do you want me to grab any more on up the street
do you want me to drive your car in the race
i've got a lot of confidence in you charlie
i always thought you didn't like me
whoa
now that is weird
that's very weird
because i always thought that you didn't like me
how about that
i don't you don't
no
wow
whoa
what no it's uh
it's just
i've always considered you my closest and dearest friend charlie
you can't mean that
come on you're not serious
you know i hate you no didn't get it come on leo
i've always hated you why do you think
i played all those tricks on you
charlie because you know
i thought you were buddy enough to handle it otherwise
i wouldn't have done it you know
i'm hurt i'm really
really hurt
you're serious aren't you
you really thought we were friends
hey
leo i am so sorry
no i am i feel i feel terrible please i'm
you know what
forgotten
yeah
we're friends
helping friends isn't that what it's all about charlie
huh yeah right
can i buy you a drink friend
yeah yeah
shell what are you having friend
whatever you're happening
bourbon and klemato
you okay oh born
so uh gussy huh looks like you're down to no chips here hot bell
what my friend is trying to
tell you is that you've got two terrific rivers right
under your cumul
nose yeah yeah okay
you feel like you've had your little joke all right
what you don't understand is
this is a very sophisticated piece of equipment
and i can't trust
it to a couple of
broads you know what i'm saying
excuse me hey
your electronic toys are terrific you know
but this race is the real thing
okay
let's pull around let me out of the car
哈哈哈哈哈哈
don't worry leo buddy
i'm gonna take good care of it for you
yeah that's good charlie where's your passenger
passenger hold on a minute
hold on a minute
leo you didn't say anything about a passenger all right
i drive alone
that's the deal
i don't want some goof sitting next to me
all the way to california
throwing my timing right off
ah there she is she who your passenger tiffany
tiffany
why are you another person in the car
would be
company
tiffany honey
you remember charlie our driver
hello again mr crony
hello
charlie remember tiffany yes
yes
oatmeal
i forgot to add the water
leo i need to talk to you
margaret did you make sure the organic vehicular mode secured
please no problem wanna hand that ratchet
there might see
it
see i told you to trust me we got our race we're gonna be rich
when you got rid of those ridiculous glasses
i've been thinking about what you said last night
and i just don't feel right sweetheart
all i said was that i have certain needs
and i'm attracted to you
and when you don't put out
you know i mean really
but you're married
in name only the lawyers are drawing up the papers as we speak
i just don't feel right
honey honey honey
i got you your miss bmw
title you got some nice little prizes then yeah
i got you a contract for a hit tv show i mean
you owe me you know
i scratch your back and you can scratch whatever
the hell you like
want open the truck
yeah sure
now
come on you're gonna love california
you're gonna have your own little place it'll be great
honey
trust me
leo what
hey pal
i know it's none of my business is everything all right there
you're right
it's none of your business anything else about my personal life
you want to know
yeah it's just job for real or what
oh charlie
you don't trust me
i didn't say that
no no
no why don't you take some steel spikes and just drive them
into my chest
come on i didn't mean that i oh you like hurting me
i don't like hurting all right
i used to i don't know anymore
quit my job and i'm a little nervous that's over
the man's making two hundred geezy areas
the official driver for bmw
it was got a place in malibu i mean
come on
things are moving a little fast for me you know
i'm not used to this kind of thing hey pal
welcome to the real world i guess tell him
welcome to the real world really
it's
four s sixteen loving
alec
did you talk to big wally yeah
yeah i told him you got away on mehe was very unhappy
trust me it's the brightest move you ever made
well me while my reputation is an enforcer has been
permanently soiled but when we win
you just say you caught up with me and i
gave you the fifty grand
then we split the other fifty grand and everyone's happy
wait
the deal is i get thirty five you get fifteen isn't that what
i just said
you just said we'd split it
but i didn't say we split it evenly you get fifteen
and i get thirty five
right right
and if we don't win
and you kill me
right
listen to this
hahahaha
looks great too
what's going on
we are gonna be the canada
what
we're gonna broadcast the whole race live
that's it i'm phoning dung no no wait wait wait let's
i already cleared this with duncan uh babe he smells peelancer
duncan would never go for this
would you think i'm lying
yes
why don't we just phone duncan
then
okay
let's phone duncan
okay
hi duncan yeah it's me jack did i wake you up
hello
you're gonna have to speak up i can't hear you
who was calling yes
yeah ac did that something special to the van
we're ready to go we just have one problem
heather doesn't want to do it
now i'm getting a different story
no no
she didn't say she wouldn't do it
no i don't think she's wearing one
what did he want
he said he had ac do something special to the van
but heather
still didn't want to do it
yeah
i'll tell her
duncan said
yeah
all right close
we're gonna start the race now
now you all know the rules
you punch in when you start
you punch out when you hit the santa monica pier
joke
hey thank you have a nice day
the van slows the van what's
they've got more money than god's accountant
champion downhill skiers to olympic gold medal
it's them alright
there might be a story here after
pulitzer babe pulitzer
rhyme in the excalibur
ninjo hiltz
in the ferrari
lee roberts
in the alpha romeo
crying torres
so now i miss the big show
i told you we couldn't get another driver
but you never listen to me
number forty three richard petty s t
this is gonna be fun
are you sorry you're not
i wouldn't call for a million million dollars
a great body is a terrible thing to waste
sabbie i give a praise
red superstar
frozens frozens
rosadi
please palmer come to this to me
no
move over
hmm
move over
please mister it's not my fault
my brother donato you make me do this
please mister don't put me in jail with a man
some family
put your seat belt on
put your hands on the dashboard
come on
we got some catching up to do
thursday night
through the backstreets and avenues
they go driving
they're not my jump
they go again
to the ground radio radio
okay
baby let's go to work
how about we start up with a few green lights
oh
now let's separate the man from the girl
i promise
this is not a problem i got me to control
so long d c
hello l a
um
what are you doing
i mean
are you crazy relax
got plenty of time
got a brilliant idea well so far i don't like it well
so far you haven't even heard it
okay what is it
i'll tell you when we get to the airport
airport
what airport is that dallas airport
are we going to fresno
fresno who said anything about fresno
besides say anything about you
said the dullas airport the dallas airport
i know is in fresno i didn't say dullest
i said dulles dulles read my lips
hello
virginia highway patrol hey yes sir
this here's a ward
ol fleen out in alexandria
yes sir i'd like to report a stolen car
please
yes
it's a cadillac convertible
it's white
kind of a
vetty white
i'm in the rappers
it's a red sierra and you ran over my vention
it's a white excalibur
and all my wallpaper tables were in the back
come on officer live
up to that badge
so mick
what do you think of my idea
now of writing down the license plate numbers yeah
that's a good idea how many times you gonna bring it up
the license plate is as follows r i c h
i think that spells rich kids for the k for kids
why are we going to vegas
because we don't have to be in delay until tomorrow afternoon
at the earliest
so why spend the night
it's so boring it is boring
so we play a little crap
see some old friends and
make some new friends make some new friends tomorrow
we go to the airport
fly to l a pick up the other bentley of
their best drive across the finish line
refreshed
relaxed and with ours disappear
why'd i doubt you will you forgive me
remember you've got that sloan
well
so are you vance lones never have to ask for a forgiveness
that's right we buy it we buy it that's right
you really wanna win this thing
don't you
oh yeah i mean when in the cannonball
that's something you tell your grandkids about it
you're a grandfather
you look so young
no i'm not a grandfather i'm
that's just a figure of speech
i'd like to have grandchildren one day
but i'm not a grandfather now
oh
silly me
i see what you mean
sorry that's okay
it's important to have things in your life
that are you know important
but of course the
things that you want to do
to do them you got to do
things that you don't want to do
but i don't like dogs
i have a congenital allergy
it's nothing
personal that little dog is gonna get you elected to the senate
it's like
richard nixon's checker speech richard nixon is my idol
america loves dogs
spiro edso
loves dogs
ah spiro edso a real american with a mexican chihuahua
i like it wait a minute this door could be a possible
illegal alien
that's good chief that's great
it shows that you're very open to the good neighbor policy
right international diplomacy
i love it
we'll get some shots of this
here we are chief very nice have some fun with it
have some fun there we go now show them you mean business
don't be afraid to let a little bit of that ed
so warmth shine through
chief
what didn't i tell you to hold all calls
but the cannonballers it's all over the tv
they're racing again i'll crash them
i'll polarize them
i'll wipe them up the face of the map right
no one messes with spiro etzel
let the word go fought from this time in this place
shoot this shooter
the porch has been put to a new generation
i got goosebump
do you ever worry about the axle
the axle
i can suddenly just snap and half like a twick
no
no the action is the strongest part of the whole car
yeah but it could have some kind of flaw in it
some can leave a car in the factory
no i don't think so
i wouldn't worry about it it's not gonna happen
oh no what
do you ever worry about the other cars
what about the other cars
they say a lot of people commit suicide in their cars
they just go out
into the highway and drive into the uncoming traffic their whip
it's all over
you're a barrel of laugh aren't you
what if i tell you blows
at this beat we could be dead
you want to lighten up huh
all right i guess i guess maybe we could glow a tire
and maybe the axle could snap
and maybe some nut could come running right intowards
and maybe the world could end
but you and me worrying about it isn't gonna make any difference
let me tell you something else
you're really bumming me out with all this paranoid stuff
you understand
look if i'm gonna win
this race i've got to be loose
i must be relaxed and i'm getting too tense now
you get me all nervous
i can't breathe
i'm sorry
it's okay it's okay i got asthma and i just
you get me tense and i'm like
look i'm not
you know what your problem is if you don't mind my saying so
you got too much going on upstairs you're too busy
and your thoughts
you gotta relax
you gotta learn to settle down
i don't know how to relax well
breathe that's always
i read somewhere that's very good for you if you just
in your nose and out your mouth they're deep breaths you know
find a center somewhere in your body and then focus on it
it's an eastern thing
but you've got it
in and out in and out breathing because this is your two tenths
your two wrapped up and i'm kind of focused on this race
i don't mean to yell at you or anything like that i that
tiffany
tiffany i'm sorry i didn't mean this
you all right
holy smokes works
no on learning give her a little gas
i'm sorry mr dense and i'm just not
real secure yet with my driving
no no no come on this is an american built vehicle
it practically drives itself
put a little pressure on your touch you there watch it go ahead
see that
go for it
that's you
what's this what's this
vobo
unfobo pass it
pass it pass
up on the ass pass pass them florida
why don't you go back to sweden
no punja yodlers
no suite is gonna pass
an american
does have a lot of power
power
listen honey i know your daddy
he's gonna want you to drive on american vehicle
okay
how would you get thirty thousand mile warranty
and i'm not talking about ya
kilograms or your leaders or your celsius
or any of that foreign fake crap
all right put your foot down a little more
italians
sub on it
go go bear down woman bear now
you're probably mocking
well
shoot them the cops
cops
some friends you turned out to be
step on it step pass them look
they're a bunch of garlic eaters
those are cops
pass it pass it
come on
i'll leave a dirty
yeah we're minding my body a pound
don't worry
i can catch it
come on baby go go go
okay pick the foot up
will you know when i need more ring
do it i can do it
all right
swell down now babe
like you said
we gotta get those italians
actually i think that was an american people that was
a chevy yes
that was a chevy
nova that's what that was a chevy nova
slow down i think we should pass it
just in case
i don't think so i definitely
don't think so
let's go
oh
slow down slow down
loving
slow down
that was a chevy nova yeah that was a chevy nova
did they make a pickup truck
missed it alright i'm driving what come on
come on don't sweet
thank you speak french
just hang on
what are you going to do
i'm gonna take matters under my own hand
the
big icon for real
you're a maniac
look there's a bird
nesting
哈哈哈哈哈
yeah piece of cake
you're in some kind of hurry aren't you yeah
you got a problem with that
打他
my good man
how would you like to earn
one hundred dollars
look
some friends of ours will be arriving on the other side
very shortly and we'd like you to store them
sort of a joke
no i can't do it
it'll get regulations
two hundred dollars
regulations three
hundred
dollars
scan strugulations
regulate this
regulation
okay my friend
i know
not how i would have handled it
good work
大家好
i'll drive all right
you drive
are we supposed to be in this race jude
we haven't seen anybody for about two hours
there they are
what they tell you
not
where they're going
easy are you crazy
what
is that guy
tryna do
so what you do with your money
women legal gambling and
bread and water balance
i'm a cop you remember
hahaha
so what you don't get no bribes huh
nobody offers
so got big cop in new york chicago
chicago chicago
so long suckers
hahahaha
he's fussing us
hey
come on
i got hell hounds on my trail
and looking trouble right on my chain
i got a round of steady blood running through my vein
i thought this car was supposed to be found
i just thought of something malik
and i just want you to answer yes or no
you don't have anything blame for apt to this race do you
keep your mind on your work
all you gotta do
just keep your mind on the road
on the road
just just
boy
oh
no
oh punkies
hey you know
what are you doing
uh cigarette cigarette
what the hell is this problem
speaking of problems what were you doing
the end of my cigarette it
it's all between your legs i was trying to get up before
it burned you
go ahead take a look
all right just just hold on i'll i'll lose this nothing
we'll pull over somewhere
no
the engine overheated
that makes the two
we're losing power
this guy's crazy charlie
the heater
the heater yeah
the heater
it will blow the heat out of the engine maybe cool it down
charlie do something
yeah yeah yeah
huh all right
let's what are you doing close the window
oh
please charlie
no
just a little bit
didn't you see what happened
don't make me back
okay just a little bit
but just a little
that feels good john
here
we go chief
it's show time
excellent
as you can see
the cannonballers are fanning out
but not for long
i'm shutting down every highway in the country
except for one road
interstate seventy the american northern route
baker california
that's where they're headed but they don't know it yet
but i know it
and we'll all be there to greet them
with cars tanks ammo
choppers
and television and radio and
newspapers right white men
absolutely chief yeah it's whitman whitman right
worldwide coverage
all there
to see me
wipe the cannonball off the face of god's green earth
oh
say can you see
by the contrary light
well units were blocked down our westbound highway
divert traffic to round eighty
round eighty gotta go around
round eighty this way
sorry folks bridge collapsed up ahead
really
you know we've been listening to the news on the radio
and they haven't said anything about it
no rain there's no win hey i just follow ours yeah
so how do we get around
well you can hang a left thank you and then
hey
what are you doing
come back here jack
what are you doing
there's something sour here i just gotta hunch
right a cop is gonna stand in the middle of armpit kansas
just to lie to you
you see ha ha ha i told you good call mr o'neill thanks kid
just a little something i like to call
instinct all the great reporters have it
and it's more than that it's uh
what's the work
pursuit of a red lamborghini
proceeding west on i seventeen high speed
i'm on baby let's get just some lamborghini
yeah rydem cowboy this is red dog on your tail
trying to lose a smoky
can you help me out
it's genius
you're genius
just experience valentina
see i understand the law enforcement mentality
you look for speeders on
the road not above it
see see
may i see your license
what do you know now that we're out of iowa
you're out of your jurisdiction kapish
how i work
four to one i told you vic if you've got it
flaunted
no vic they'll see you
i knew mummy's home pack would come in handy
now vic my way
timmer and dear
got to put their car out of the race in such a way
they'll never suspect a thing
啊
quick bitch
they're coming
i think they cheat me
uh oh
we should have checked the registration
good night champ come again
my car
would you go ahead rip into me
i deserve it i screwed up i almost got us
killed you were right
i was
was you were
a good reporter follows their instincts jack
i want to get this story
i don't care what happened
for the first time in my life
i feel like a real news reporter
下来
thank you
welcome to our las vegas to los angeles flight one sixteen
as you all know
this is an economy flight i don't expect a lot of extras
in fact if we make it at all consider that a bonus
joe come on people it's a joke i'm kidding
hey i'm talking here what a respect please
okay as far as our safety procedures
who are we kidding
if you wanted safety you wouldn't be flying with us right
was there something
i could do for you gentlemen
excuse me i've seen you before aren't you
um
still am
oh brooks
it's brook lady not brook's brook there is only one of me
brook shields that's brook shields
yeah well
don't mind me asking but why
i mean your work
i mean what do you
after four years of princeton my professor suggested i seek
higher goals
so i figured what better place
you know to keep my face in the public
besides i don't want to spend the rest of my life
doing bit parts and movies
oh it's not that bad
it sounds good to me
this is a hijack
we're going to nicaragua
can we make that el salvador
what what you mean
costa rica
and my mother and he's there
but uh the bahamas
i got your mind
help me
get it hyder
hyder
哈哈哈哈
i'm clean how
flight one sixteen i said runway eight not interstate eighty
what margaret
this is the weirdest limitary i've ever seen
see eva
something's really gone hey white here
or there's
an airplane in the room
right
hmm
i guess this means we've lost the race no
no no it does
remember we're van sloanes we don't lose
yeah
it's right
well
not in a million years
look you do have power
yes and steering capability
and you do have a place to spend fifty thousand dollars
ladies and gentlemen we now begin our new unique feature the fly
drive tour of the united states
bob what you got
now mascara i want lots of mascara
what's good chief makes your eyes pop out on television
there we go
whoever it is with that mirror i want his badge number
i'll personally crack a single mirror on his head
what's he saying
i hope this message
doesn't
come at an
inopportune time
look can't you make these things more concise
i've spotted
the
cannonballers on
the
hill on the hill
can you hear it
hear what you screaming engines
burning tires
god i love the smell of napalm in the morning napalm
i've been here before
it's a glorious feeling
the carthaginians were up there on that hill over there
i love it
god help me i do love it
so
he's an anagranism this one yeah pure warrior
can't buy that
bread india
well while i think of a chief
you think you've got me one of those little handguns
use mine
the new stealth model
oh be careful safety's off
you don't think i'm insane do you
no chief i
i think you'll be president
i'm going to sleep
wake me up when we hit l a
i'm hungry
i wonder if they're gonna feed us on this flight
i do not speak english too good
french francis
way very fast safe valley fancy
no
pati palais
no palais
no speak of french
you would like my penis
excuse me
you would like my penis
i'm
a way to meet my wife my kids two kids who got
two three kids big reunion
you would like my penis
look i'm really not interested
i have no problem with it it's just not my thing okay
you at night
peanuts
oh sure thank you very much i thought i thought you were
i thought you were
talking about something else
this is a momentary obstacle
mustn't panic
keep your belt on
get into car alec
what are you going to do
get in a car alec i'm gonna drive vick
you turn that frown upside down right now
i'll turn you upside down right now
this is going to be a lesson in
human type psychology what are you going to do
vic shut up don't we at least talk about this
there will always kill ourselves huh i know gods tops on
liberals mick
watch
pump in a world ma huh
pump in a world
give me those key my mother
one two you fuck
what you doing
kill you while
i should
arrest them
use unnecessary forts if necessary
pull this thing out of here
chief what are you gonna do with them
chief over here
what are your plans
what are the cannonballers going to arise
excuse me
please i believe the chief has a statement he'd like to make
is an american senator
i will upon the laws of this great nation of ours
just as you see me doing today
what's that
with total repression for all who deviate no that
honky
crow
you're not getting true
chief you okay
that pilot will never fly in this town again
look
step down
heavily arm you
step down right let's get out of here
stop them
stop them they can't get true
kill them
i want to destroy
i gotta do everything myself
out of my way
be my gun with it on you
they gaining on us
i hope we lose these guys
at least signal chief
please police business police business pull over
oh i know
jake khan
that's right james khan good
it's my ten charlie
who was the woman
who starred in the film where she was trying to save her far
oh well that narrows it down
doesn't it
what's that supposed to mean
about nine thousand movies
where women were trying to save their farms or their factories
or their rivers or their trees
come on charlie don't be a poor sport
well
it's not much to go on i mean james klein was pretty obvious
i told you played sonny and the godfather he got
killed halfway through the movie and i told her
what's we been
i mean i gave you a whole lot of extra information on that one
you're being a real baby charlie
what
only one is one hint
one lousy little hint
that makes me a baby
okay she went in osgood nineteen eighty six
in
six that would be
no who is it that's it
oh um
i i give me a hint
nope
come on give me another hint i gave you lots of hints
but wait a minute i got it now
the actress with the freckles
she was in coal miners started real good
you mean sissy's basic right
that's her nope
wait a second i got it now
she's real good luck but she was in king kong
she played that picture with jack nicholson the boats ran thing
jessica jessica
me right
no
can you give up
yeah
sally feel ah
sally feel sure
k
utan okay
uh it's a person
that it's not enemies
that makes the two points
no this is a really easy one he's a current vice president
it wasn't duncan and the fuck no
it wasn't duncan that was a total fraud
that was a bad idea no
jack it was not a bad idea it was a good idea
we gotta take chances have some fun
thank you
but you know what i can't do what
you can do
i mean i could never cover the senate or the u in i'm just
as good as anybody i've ever seen
you really mean that
i really mean it
thanks
welcome to sunny california well
i tell you had a little problem with the car here
i don't know really what happened to it
you got a problem all right you gotta come with me
who are going
hey wait a minute
aren't you richard petty sometimes
hey will will you do me a favor
i'm a big fan of yours
and i'd really love to have your autograph before i run you in
before you run me in yeah you got to come with me
you're one of them cannonballers
oh no you gotta go downtown
how do you use this thing
but just like a regular phone
what's the number of the los angeles police department
i have no idea
here it is
come on lose this guy
no what help me
you better know what you're doing i know what i'm doing
think this leave me alone
let me concentrate
somebody got up on the wrong side of bed this morning shut up
i'm sorry
everybody
now listen up and listen good starting now we're on red alert
this is chase spirit he had so calling
i want everybody to drop what you're doing
and head immediately to the cinematic appear
is that understood
yes i understand
we have to go
to santa monica
traffic is moving along very nicely on our freeways here in la
on this beautiful sunny after do
can you believe this
great just great
back you're tired you're drifting along stress
ha ha we lost him
i can't believe at margaret hmm i smell victory
sugar that ain't victory that's the ocean oh
i think there's a little puppies on the fritz
we drove three thousand miles to get stuck in la
come on let me drive
come on
look switch
i live in la for two years
it takes a certain kind of personality to
get around in this city
that tells you where movie stars live is that the only map
they had
please don't i that's not the monica beard
turn right here that's the lones house
and then it's a lead that the lucy boys
that's the lones house
you know i got a feeling we're gonna win this thing
i'm gonna win the cannonball
i'm gonna be famous
we'll both be famous
you as a driver
and me as an actress on divorce court
those are actors on divorce court
yeah that's how good they are
you don't even know that they're acting
so i guess i'll be an really excellent company
which is good when you're just starting out
yeah
leo got me the contract
i never thought i'd say this but he's actually a great guy
i'm not so sure charlie he can be me
well how long have you known them
two weeks
well there you go you see
it's taken me fourteen and a half fifteen
years to get to know him
he's got one of those personalities you know
it's kind of a difficult thing to
put a finger on it but he sees okay but you think he's a creep
oh
haha seems to be something wrong with a brace
we don't seem to have any
what are we gonna do charlie
now don't get scared of everything okay tiffany five
we got no brakes we're out of control
you drive
like my grandmother all right
all right
don't panic don't panic we'll be fine
okay okay
this is just my luck
boy they drive fast during l a
oh
charlie okay here we go
hang on hang on
all right i got it now
i've been taking you over ten miles hey you drop this back there
thanks a lot
charlie and
carl lewis
nah
it is it is
oh yeah sure
carl lewis
isn't he dreamy
they're coming they're coming
i've got them women
they're in my grass
come on ali who's the one this the jaguar
we have
we have a word on in the jag
啊
啊啊
wash your filler up and give her a hot wax
hey check it out it's michael's hey buddy
you driving a boojang out there okay
there they are
all right thanks man
did we stop them
stop them
you're a nut you know that you're a lunatic along in a nuthouse
not the white house but i tried to help you
they got a pot point
hey yes oh
yes just bring my car around
give it a hot wax
big you're not celebrating
i don't really
fit in with that crowd i haven't even given them a chance
alec
i'm sorry i was gonna kill you
i didn't really want to but you know big wally
you know something vic
you really should leave big wally
it's not the right line of work for you
now what else could i do you've got money now
you could invest it and start a business
you mean something legit fact i could even help you get started
no kid
bick
it begin to multi column
no is that a good place for investments would i steer you wrong
this has been the most exciting time of my life
mine too
it makes one realize
how much fun life can be
oh isn't that the truth and how you should take advantage
of every moment
yeah
now listen we lose your eyes
do you hear me
i love a tutanato
and another i give the gut to a friend of mine
that's like the papers are in my name so i give it to him
he let me finish the rise and he's a nice guy
not like you donato aband
and your wife marisa
she sleeps with all the mechanics this i know
and another thing i stay here in america
and if you don't like you donato you can go from hell
that's mama i love it
i can't believe it
i'm an embarrassment to the scientific community
that'll never
take me back at mit
oh now sugar don't be so hard on yourself
besides i'm not so sure we want to go back to mrt what
no
i think we wanna stay here and get into a little marine biology
huh
i'll have one of those rocket scientists explaining to you oh
todd
you know him
no
but one of them is always named todd come on i'll introduce you
dams i still said
i was a bad idea
i didn't press the play well
it's still a stupid idea
that's not the point bandstones never quit
never quit that's when we're winners right
charles crony
you are a very nice man
and you are
you're very special
i hope that one day when you're a big movie star
you'll still talk to me
oh i will
i'll never be like that
tiffany
look at all over for you
they doing leo
what are you doing cronin driving with a brakes on
just kidding you did a great job baby come on
i have to go
bye tiffany hi let's go
be look
on forceport
i missed you i really did couple of things
the house didn't work out
because you know
the rents here in los angeles are really murdered
but i got us a lovely little room at the motel six
you're gonna love it
and i think you're gonna
have to lay a little old for the next couple of weeks
because my wife is coming into town and you know
i think she's starting to get a little suspicious so it's not
tiffany
what are you doing
i can't be with you
leo so not a nice person
well what plant got to do with it we had a deal
i'll accept the contract trinity mi
show but i can't be your hussy
sweetheart
are you kidding
you kiss me goodbye
and you can kiss divorce court goodbye you got it
i don't care
lighten up leo born and you're working for me now okay
you want to keep your job shut your mouth got itand as for you
you're finished in this business
you call yourself an actress
you're a professional bimbo sweetie
what
that's what
you did that for me
yeah
charles croak
are you interested in the rest of my life
yeah
wow
your mother